Inner Child healing exercises that actually work

Let’s talk about inner child healing - without the fluff, the baby photos, or pretending you’re fine sobbing into a journal while visualizing yourself at age five (although I do love the photo thing to be honest). What are some Inner Child healing exercises that actually work? 

Here’s the truth: inner child work isn’t really some lofty concept or spiritual buzzword. It’s trauma healing in action. It’s about reconnecting with the parts of you that had to split off, shut down, or grow up too fast to survive. And if you’ve been through narcissistic abuse; especially from a parent or partner, your inner child is likely running the show more than you realize.

There’s nothing wrong with you, you ADAPTED. Your system is always seeking safety - and when young, it is quite rigid and black and white about how it does that. You don’t need fixing. You need care, safety, and connection

So What Is Inner Child Healing, Really?

Your inner child is the collection of emotional imprints and nervous system responses you picked up when you were small. It’s the version of you who:

• Learned that love had to be earned
• Believed their needs were too much
• Got punished for having emotions
• Was the peacekeeper, the fixer, the one who made things okay for everyone else

Fast-forward to adulthood, and that same energy shows up in micro ways:

• You overthink every text before hitting send
• You shut down when someone’s disappointed in you
• You feel ashamed for having needs at all
• You keep dating people who trigger the same old wounds

Inner child healing is about giving that younger You what they never got - safety, attunement, permission, boundaries, and unconditional care. Not as a mental exercise, but as a felt experience in the body.

Signs Your Inner Child Is Calling the Shots

If you’re a high achiever, here’s where it gets tricky. You’re probably crushing it at work, but secretly:

• You're terrified of disappointing people
• You say yes when you mean no (then beat yourself up after)
• You can hold space for everyone - except yourself
• You feel frozen or panicked in conflict, even when you logically know better

That’s not you being weak. That’s your inner child trying to keep you safe the only way they know how.

Inner Child Healing Exercises That Actually Help

Here are a few of the nervous-system-informed, trauma-aware practices I teach in my work that don’t require pretending or pushing:

1. Inner Child Check-Ins

When you notice you’re spiraling, ask: “How old do I feel right now?”

This simple question builds awareness and helps you shift from reacting as the child to responding to the child.

Example: You feel rejected after a short text from someone you're dating. You pause and realize, “I feel about seven.” That awareness alone is powerful.

2. Create Safety Through Sensation

Instead of trying to “think” your way into safety, use somatic anchors:

• Wrap yourself in a heavy blanket
• Hold a warm mug
• Lie down with one hand on your heart, one on your belly

Then say (out loud if you can): “You’re safe now. I’ve got you.”

Your nervous system doesn’t respond to logic - it responds to felt safety. Think nervous system first, story second.

3. Reparenting With Boundaries

Every time you say “no” when you used to say “yes,” or pause before jumping to fix something…that’s reparenting. That’s telling your inner child: “You don’t have to self-abandon to be loved anymore.”

Start small:

• Decline a call when you’re not available
• Say “I need time to think about it” instead of rushing a yes
• Let someone else handle their own discomfort

Boundaries aren’t about being mean. They’re about creating predictability and protection—what your inner child needed and didn’t get.

4. Inner Child Voice Journaling

Write out a dialogue between “adult you” and “kid you.” Ask your inner child how they feel, and let them respond. No filter. No judgment.

Then write back with love, boundaries, and clarity.

This builds internal trust and starts to rewire your default patterns. When the child feels heard, the adult can lead.

5. Catch the Shame Spiral - And Interrupt It

Inner child wounds are wired to shame. That means every time you make a mistake, get feedback, or feel misunderstood, shame is likely your first stop.

Instead of spiraling:

• Name it: “This is shame.”
• Ground yourself: feet on floor, slow breath
• Say: “There’s nothing wrong with me. I’m allowed to mess up and still be worthy.”

Repeat as many times as needed. Shame thrives in silence - interrupting it is radical.

Bonus: Look at Photos of Younger You

Yes, really. Take a moment to look at a photo of yourself as a child. See if you can do it without criticism or bypassing. Just look. Let it land: That was you. That still is you.

This practice helps soften the freeze and create connection. The goal isn’t to feel pity - it’s to build relationship.

Inner Child Work Isn’t Optional - It’s Foundational

If you’ve been through emotional abuse, coercive control, or had to perform for love as a kid, this work isn’t just helpful - it’s necessary. It’s not about “fixing” yourself. It’s about meeting the parts of you that were never seen.

You don’t have to heal it all at once. You don’t need to do it perfectly. You just need to start showing up- even in small, imperfect ways - as the adult your inner child has been waiting for.

Ready for the Next Step?

This is the work I guide my clients through inside my 6 Keys to Unfuckwithable framework - especially the Inner Childand Somatic/Nervous System keys.

You’re not a mess - you’ve been surviving in ways that make sense. And you’re absolutely not alone.

When you’re ready, we can do this work together.

Or get started on your own:

• The 6 Keys to Unfu*kwithable - explore the exact key steps to work through in your healing journey, backed by more than 10k hours of real-life client experiences
• The Somatic Keys - get practical exercises to do for each of the 6 key areas! This is a powerful day-to-day work you can return to repeatedly!